Saved by the Bell
by Hermione30
Summary: Hermione is being driven to the point of insanity in her History of Magic class because of a certain...slobbery matter. ONE-SHOT, my first humor fic, includes SFLB snogging, and very slight RHr. Read and review!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not making any money off my fan fics. This is only my idea of what may happen in History of Magic that Harry doesn't pay any attention to. Enjoy it!

Saved by the Bell

"Settle down, class," Professor Binns droned as he floated through his chalkboard and into the classroom.

Harry threw a paper ball just as Binns came in; it bounced off of Dean's head and fell to the ground. Ron snickered. I gave Harry and Ron the _look. _

"Please take out your quills and parchment. We will be studying a most exciting subject today," he paused for effect, looking around at our hopeful faces, "Goblin rebellions it is, then."

We all groaned.

_Great. Looks like once again I will be taking all these notes while Harry and Ron do absolutely nothing. At least** I'm** making an effort to learn. _

"I expect you to take good notes today. I want an essay on the effects of goblin rebellions on house elves, one roll of parchment long, to be turned in next Monday."

We all groaned again, only more loudly so this time. Professor Binns ignored this; he simply sat down on his favorite stool, put on his glasses, opened _A History of Magic_ and began reading. Kind of a sick version of story time.

_You know, this class could be a whole lot more interesting if he would just make an effort. I find that most people learn more when they're having fun doing it. But someone like Binns isn't likely to take suggestions from a student when they've been teaching for so long. It says in Hogwarts, a History that Binns began here in 1896._

Sighing, I picked up my quill and tried to listen to the lesson. Binns' voice was just beginning to lull me to sleep when an odd sound jerked me out of my stupor.

**_Smack. Slurp. _**

_What was **that**? _Cautiously, I turned around in my seat, and quickly turned back.

_…_

_I did NOT want to see that. _

_The nerve! Snogging in class! It's bad enough in the common room, but in CLASS!? _

_Why doesn't Binns notice? It's pretty loud from where I'm sitting. He must have selective hearing. _

**_Schloop. _**

_I don't want to know how that noise came about. _

**_Slop. _**

_This is really disgusting. People need to learn to keep it to themselves. _

…

_I see this stuff all around me, the halls, lunch, the common room; it would be in the library if Madam Pince wasn't in charge. I don't need it in class! _

**_Slobber. _**

_That tears it. I'm telling Professor Binns. I don't care if they hate me for it, they already do. _

I raised my hand. "Erm…Professor?"

He looked up. "Yes, Ms. Granger?"

**_Slurp. _**

He heard that one. "Miss Barclay, Mr. Finicky, what do you think you are doing?"

_Finally. They'll be forced to cut their little love fest short, and for once I'll actually be glad to listen to Binns. _

Lavender blushed. "We're…um…"

"Enhancing our learning experience," Seamus finished.

_Learning what? How to make out without your teacher noticing? _

"Oh, very well then. Please continue." Professor Binns began reading again.

_WHAT!?!? How dense can a TEACHER be? Ohhhhhhh if this were McGonagall's class, they would have detention before they could wipe the spit off their faces. _

**_Smack. _**

I ground my quill into my desk in frustration, after which I accidentally stabbed Ron in the nose with it.

"Ouch! What's the big deal?"

"_Look _at them!" I said indignantly.

Ron glanced at the happy couple, and looked back at me quizzically. "What, are you jealous?"

That did it. My temper rising, I stood up to tell Ron off, and I was about to start my rant when—

"Miss Granger, is there a problem?"

"N—no. There isn't. I just…dropped my quill, and I had to find it." I sat back down and glared at Ron. I'm sure my face matched Ron's hair right then.

I looked at my notes and immediately panicked. I hadn't written a thing down! Ron must have noticed my look of horror, because he leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"What's your problem today, 'Mione?"

I ignored him and attempted to salvage _something _from today's wreck of a lesson. I found it rather hard to take notes with…other…matters.

_Calm down, Hermione. Class is only…fifteen minutes longer! If I have to take fifteen more minutes of this, I will go absolutely nuts! And why aren't Harry and Ron bothered by Lavender and Seamus!? How do they do it? Note to self: ask Harry and Ron how to tune out things. From personal experience, I happen to know that they are very good at it. _

**_Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp. _**

_No! I can't take it anymore! I'm out of h—_

**_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! _**

_Oh, thank Merlin! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  I can finally get out of this madhouse! _

I gathered up my things and left the room as quickly as I could (Lavender and Seamus were still attached at the lips. They may have to have surgery to correct that if they don't break away soon). Harry and Ron followed me down the corridor.

"You alright?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, you looked like you were about to explode in there." Ron added. He couldn't have been more accurate, but instead of "exploding" at him for being so right (as I would have very much liked to do), I simply said,

"One day I will write a book," I paused while they gave each other clueless looks, "On when public displays of affection are not acceptable."

"…"

"…"

I smirked. Of course they wouldn't understand.

"Some people need it."

Finis

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this little ficlet, even when I had writer's block and wanted to kill it. JamieBell helped me with several funny phrases and got me in a storm again. Thanks, JamieBell! If you liked this story, go read her stuff; we have similar senses of humor…I _highly _recommend "Jumping on the Bandwagon".

Review. It's not hard. Just click that blue button down there, and tell me what you think.

P.S. I included a little reference from a TV show, but it's very subtle. See if any of you can guess! I will review that person's story first. I will review their next fic if I've already reviewed everything else that they have! Sorry, JamieBell. You can't guess.


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